Prove It
by Kavi Leighanna
Summary: Six days, three dates, and a decision that will change everything. C/B. FOLLOWS Three Sizes Too Small
1. Chapter 1

**Prove It**

**December 26, 2010**

Kate just barely dodged another crazy shopper as she and Lanie braved the Boxing Day crowds. They weren't shopping, but with the events of the previous couple of days, Kate had decided to call on her best friend for advice.

When it came down to it, Kate knew most of her doubts came from abject fear. Rick, Lanie and even Martha had out that she couldn't really deny there was something there. She'd tamped down on the signs for so long that it had become almost a habit. Even her handful of kisses with Rick hadn't done much to allay her fears. Attraction and relationships were two different beasts. It was tempting, but... Was she ready?

Because a relationship with Rick put more than just their hearts on the line. It was risking a solid partnership. It was risking a surprising friendship. It was risking one of the very few things that made her job easier. They risked Alexis being caught in the crossfire; Alexis and Kate had developed a strong and emotional bond over the course of Christmas. She risked her life falling apart around her ears and... It was utterly terrifying.

Finally, she and Lanie managed to make it to their favourite little coffee shop, just off the main streets of the city. They both breathed heavy sighs of relief as they stepped into the warmth. There was an empty table along the wall and they headed that way, shedding outerwear as they went. Lanie waited until they were settled in and had placed their orders before she eyed Kate.

"Do how was your Christmas with Writer-Boy?"

Kate felt her cheeks heating and cursed the blush. Her hand came up to her neck and the snowflake pendant she had yet to take off since Rick fastened it around her neck. "It was good," she admitted. "Really good."

"Oh?" Lanie asked, leaning forward with a twinkle in her eye. "So you and Castle are...?"

Kate chewed her lip. "We're thinking about it?"

"Thinking about it?" Lanie asked. "Where did you sleep?"

"Lanie! He has a guest room," Kate replied, then dropped her head into her hands. "We're not... I'm not... I just..."

The ME closed her eyes briefly before looking back to Kate. "Honey, what happened?"

"We made a deal," Kate answered. "He... We're going out. Kind of. He wanted three dates. I just..."

Had Lanie been anyone other than Kate's best friend, the stuttering would have been uncharacteristic. But the stuttering told Lanie that this really meant something to Kate. There was something else in there, something that made Kate unsure. It didn't take Lanie's high IQ to understand what it was. Kate knew that this was more. She knew that this was intense. She knew that everything between her and Rick would end up being more than just a passing fancy. There was a foundation there, a strong one, and one that she could build her forever on.

So Lanie reached out. "Kate."

The detective looked up, taking in the absolute seriousness on her best friend's face. Lanie rested her hand on Kate's arm.

"Listen to me," the ME requested. "I've spent years as your best friend watching you make choices to sabotage your relationships." She held up a hand when Kate opened her mouth. "I get the protective instinct, I do. But... Castle's different. And while I understand being scared and being careful, especially when it comes to what you've been through... But I won't stand aside this time. I won't let you sabotage such a good opportunity."

"What?" Kate asked in confusion.

"You're different with Castle," Lanie answered. "He's the one guy I've seen you with that makes you relax so completely. You've let him shoulder some of the thing you see, you let him make you laugh and you let him brighten your day."

"Lanie..." Kate began.

Lanie squeezed her best friend's hand. "I won't take excuses this time." She sighed. "He's not asking you for forever, Girl, he's just asking you for a chance. With what you guys have been through he deserves at least that."

"I said yes," Kate argued. "Doesn't that mean I'm giving him that chance?"

"Then why are we having this discussion?" Lanie pointed out. "Kate, you do both of you a disservice by making it impossible to win you. You want this, but you're scared. I get that. But at the end of the day, this is the one time you may not want to let your head over-power your heart."

Kate sighed. It felt so much more complicated than that. It was so much more dangerous.

"You trust him, you know you do," Lanie said, breaking into her thoughts and making Kate wonder if her best friend could read her mind.

"But do I trust him with this?"

Lanie sat back for a moment. "You trusted him with your mom."

Kate sighed. That was a key and interesting point. She needed to shift the topic. "Tell me about your Christmas."

Lanie sent her a look that implied she knew what the detective was up to, but launched into the first story of her one-year-old niece gumming her gifts to death, rather than unwrapping them. Kate listened with half an ear, unable to get the deal and Rick out of her head. Because when it came down to it, she wasn't sure Lanie was right. It wasn't impossible to Rick to win her heart. In fact, there was a traitorous part of her that was pretty sure he already had.

* * *

Rick, who'd spent his day writing while Kate hung out with Lanie, jumped when his phone rang. A smile blossomed over his face as he checked the caller ID.

"Why hello, Detective."

"Hey back," Kate's voice came through the phone. He hoped he wasn't imagining the warmth in her voice. She didn't know it yet, but he had a lot riding on this deal. He really wanted her to give a relationship with him an honest shot. He wanted her, and it was no longer about bedding her. It had stopped being about that a long time ago. There was a part of him that wanted to say it was about forever but...

"Rick? Did you zone out on me?"

And that was something he adored about Kate. She understood that sometimes, he lost himself in his thoughts. "Would I do such a thing?" He smiled when she chuckled. "What can I do for you? You have my full attention."

He thought he heard her suck in a breath. "I'm calling to see when you want to start cashing in on your dates."

"Oh," Rick replied, unable to stop himself from hoping that he was indeed hearing the nerves in her voice. He liked the idea of making Kate nervous. "How about tomorrow?"

"Eager much?"

"Just to put my plans to woo you into action."

There was silence for a moment. "You've been planning this?"

"You sound surprised," he said amicably. "I didn't think I'd made it a secret that I want you."

"There's a distinct difference between wanting me and wooing me, Rick."

Now, it was his turn to pause. "I'm glad you know there's a difference."

This time, he definitely heard a sharp intake of breath.

He barreled on. "How about tomorrow?" he repeated. "Any plans?"

"Beyond going into the precinct? No." she admitted.

"You're going back to work tomorrow?" Sometimes, despite how much he admired what she did, he forgot that she couldn't choose her schedule.

"Probably just paperwork, so don't bother coming in. I'll call you if anything good comes up."

"Then why don't I pick you up tomorrow night? About 7?"

"Barring murder it should work," Kate answered. "Um... Did you have something specific in mind?"

He didn't; not yet. But Kate didn't need to know that. "I do."

"Does it have a dress code?"

"I'm sure whatever you wear will be beautiful."

"Castle." There was a warning note to her voice that made him smile.

"That's all you're getting from me, Miss Beckett." He lowered his voice. "I'll see you tomorrow."

She responded with her own low sexy chuckle, and he knew what was coming next. "Until tomorrow, Rick."

He pressed the end button on his phone, then sat there for a minute, just staring at it.

"That's not the face of a man who kissed his dream detective on Christmas day."

Rick looked up as his whirlwind of a mother let the loft door slam behind her. "Good evening, mother. How was tea?"

His mother groaned. "Dotty Parson's daughter - you remember her, the accident -

"Mother!"

"What?" She waved a hand impatiently at Rick's reproachful look. "Darling, Krista is nothing like Alexis. You were young. Dotty was almost past child-bearing age."

He almost groaned as he dropped his head in his hands.

"Anyway, Krista is getting married. We spent tea listening to Dotty go on and on about wedding details I have no interest in!" She dropped her things to a nearby chair, then plopped down on the couch across from it. "Even when Patty started talking about her trip to the Caribbean with her husband, all Dotty could talk about was how Krista and her beau were thinking of the Caribbean for their honeymoon."

"I'm sure you're not-so-secretly happy for them," Rick replied.

Martha leaned against the counter and eyed her son. "What is going on with Detective Beckett?"

"I'm sure she told you to call her Kate, Mother."

Martha's eyes darkened at his insistence. "Indeed she has," she murmured. "and it's important to you."

"Of course it is," he replied.

"Because she's important to you."

Rick pressed his lips into something resembling a smile. Really it was more of a straight line. "I've made no secret of that."

"To us. But what about to her."

"I don't know," he said, unable to stop a sigh from escaping.

"Well, Darling, the first thing you have to think about is what you want," Martha offered.

"I want her to be able to believe in us," he said, dropping his head in his hands. "Because Christmas showed me that 'us' is a very plausible idea."

Martha paused for a moment, gathering exactly what she wanted to say before she reached out to place a hand on her son's arm. "You know Detective Beckett quite well, yes?"

"It's Kate, Mother," he reminded her again, this time with a small smile. "And, I'd say so, yes."

"So then the question becomes this: does she know you?" She held up a hand when he immediately opened his mouth to respond. "I'm not talking about who you are to everyone else. I mean who you are to me, to Alexis, to the people that matter. Does she understand that maybe your antics are really just a stupid way of getting her attention?"

She watched her son's expressions change.

"Does she know why your marriages failed?" Martha asked quietly. "Does she understand why you want her? You've made it crystal clear you do, but for some women… we need to understand the why before we can accept the who."

"No," he said after a moment. "No, she doesn't know me."

She smiled and squeezed his arm. "That might be a good place to start."

* * *

_I hadn't forgotten or un-planned this story! _

_But I did make a decision. This will be the main thing I work on, but, as I'm sure you can all tell, I've decided to do it on my time as opposed to in the few days between Christmas and New Years. I wanted a chance to spend time with my family and take a bit of a break before diving back into all of this. _

_So I do hope you're still with me, and that you'll be even more awesome (other than reviewing, of course, which makes you awesome by default) and be patient with me. _

_Loves in advance!_


	2. Chapter 2

**Prove It**

**December 27, 2010**

Rick hummed slightly as he climbed the steps to Kate's apartment. The date was simple, but complex in it's own right. Dinner and a walk. Normal, and some may even claim mundane, but for Rick, it was everything. She'd opened herself up to him over the holiday season, let him see the pieces he was honour to hold onto. Now, it was his turn.

He knocked, surprised by the rush of nerves that dampened his palms, and simultaneously unsurprised by it. It wasn't his first date. He knew how to behave. He knew how to be charming, how to make a woman feel special. He knew where to go, what to say and even where to touch. But this was Kate. All of the regular rules flew out the window. This truly mattered, He'd created a chance for himself, for _them_, and the last thing he wanted to do was squander it by saying something stupid or overly stereotypical. He still felt like she deserved all of the pretty things, all of the fuss, that he'd given other women – more so, if only because she didn't expect it – but he also wanted to treat her differently.

Because at the base of it, she _was_ different.

So many of the women in his life had been transient. His life without her… well even considering it seemed utterly unthinkable. And he'd experienced that pain before. He hadn't liked it. At all.

So there was a lot to risk, a lot on the line.

"Hey."

He was greeted by a whiff of cherries and something else before she whirled back into her apartment, leaving the door open. "Hey," he replied, taking a tentative step through the entrance. "May I?"

She stopped, blinking, surprised by the question. Then her eyes dropped to the colourful tulips he carried. "Oh."

And he grinned. She looked pleased, surprised and adorably flustered. He arched an eyebrow as she made her way back to him, reaching for the flowers. "Are you running late?"

She shot him a half-hearted glare at the obvious poke. "I, um…" Her eyes darted to her coffee table and the book resting on it. "I got distracted."

Rick followed the flick of her eyes. "Rook _is_ devilishly handsome. Though I think I'm insulted."

"Well, just be thankful I didn't ditch you to spend the night with him," she quipped. Then she blushed as his fingers brushed hers in the flower hand-off. "Just let me find a vase."

"Of course," he agreed with a wide smile.

She tipped her head to the side as she looked at them, then back up at him with a surprising shyness. "They're beautiful, Rick."

He wanted to tell her they were nothing compared to the blush in her cheeks, or the sparkle in her eyes, but he bit his lip against the urge. It was stupid and cliché and something he would have said to another woman just to charm them. Instead, he said, "I'm glad you like them."

"I do," she replied sincerely. "Tulips were my mom's favourite."

There was a split second of sympathy and understanding in his gaze before he simply grinned. "Seems fitting then, doesn't it?"

"What does," she asked, finally re-engaging her brain and heading towards the kitchen again.

He couldn't stop himself from watching the sway of her hips. "Your mom's favourite flower for our first date. She's the reason we're even going on this date, isn't she?"

Her smile was shy and true. "Yeah," she answered quietly. "I guess she is."

* * *

Kate was, admittedly, surprised. There was a part of her that was sure he'd pull out all the stops, and she'd dressed for it. True, she'd chosen understated elegance instead of full-on formal, but she'd still anticipated something like Le Cirque. She should have known better.

Felidia was a converted brownstone in Midtown, and, as they'd been informed upon arriving, _the_ place for seafood. She wasn't sure she totally agreed, but Kate had to admit, it was a surprisingly perfect mix of elegant and cozy. She was glad he'd picked the place, if only because there weren't many people wandering around that took specific notice of them. She understood the press were a big part of Rick's life, but if nothing was cemented between them, she didn't want to risk that kind of media exposure. If she decided that they could do it, that it was time to give their relationship an honest try, then the press was a bridge they would have to cross. Tonight was a test, yes, but it was a test for her as much as it was for him.

Dinner was a light-hearted affair. Their bickering, laughing, teasing, all transcended the underlying tension of the evening and Kate was actually unsurprised by the lack of change in the way they interacted. The bickering was a staple and a foundation to their relationship. It would have been more terrifying if that had changed too.

But the entire tone of their date changed the minute they started away from the restaurant. Kate could feel it in every bone of her body and it made her shiver, despite his warmth beside her. He tugged her closer, believing winter was creeping through her coat. They talked about inconsequential things as they wandered down the street. He just kept them walking and, eventually, Kate realized that it was more than a simple walk. It was more than a simple anything.

Rick had planned this, planned where they were walking. He was guiding her, subtly but she could feel it in the hand on her back. He took her hand to tug her into Central Park and she grinned as she kicked at undisturbed snow on the side of the path.

When she met his eyes again, focused on him rather than the beauty that was Central Park under snow, her breath caught. There were nerves there, but seriousness and determination. She squeezed his hand, maybe in understanding, maybe in encouragement, she wasn't quite sure. Either way, he took it as a cue.

"Kate, I need you to know I'm serious," he told her. "I need you to know that as much as this is a deal, this is… _real_. I'm not treating it like a conquest, I'm not treating it like a really twisted way to get into your pants-"

She couldn't stop the surprised chuckle.

"But I am treating this as an opportunity I plan to make the most of. And to do that, you need to understand a few things." He squeezed her hands when she went to tell him 'no'. "I need to tell you a few things."

Kate bit the inside of her bottom lip. "Okay."

"I have two ex-wives," he began slowly. "I understand that I don't have the best track record when it comes to relationships. There have been a lot of women. I'm not going to lie."

She was glad for that much.

"And I could tell you they all mean nothing compared to you, but there's something that tells me you wouldn't believe me."

"I wouldn't," she agreed ruefully.

He offered her a smile at the candidness. "There's a lot of faces, a couple of names…" Rick shrugged. "But when you get burned, no commitment always seems like the better choice. You figure 'hey, I'm no good for the long term, but the short term sounds like a good idea'. Except, I got blindsided."

"By me."

"You're not number one in the NYPD because you're gorgeous." He echoed the grin she gave him. "I'll get to you later. I think…" He swallowed, then dove right in.

"With Meredith, the passion was in the sex. With Gina, it was in the fighting. We bickered, we argued, we nitpicked… and then one day all of that became real. I'd wanted a role model for Alexis, but what I'd gotten was an ice queen attached to the name and not to the person."

She wanted to ask about Kyra. Really wanted to ask about Kyra, but she knew that he was just as closed off as she was. She'd learned that long ago. But he was trying to open up and while he pushed, she preferred to let information come at it's own pace. She bit the side of her cheek to keep her from mentioning Kyra's name

"You…" And he looked at her in awe. "You are something else entirely."

The shock raced through her before she could stop it. It was odd, really, that she should be shocked he held her in such high regard. She knew he hadn't made a secret of the fact that he was attracted to her. But this… this was what she'd been looking for, something deeper, something about _him_. He was good at getting information out of her, information she'd never meant to tell him, but he wasn't good at sharing himself. But it was the absolute wonder on his face, like she'd come out of some sort of deep, dark dream that had her heart racing.

Rick looked away, ahead of them as they continued to walk. "There's so much passion in you. For what you do, for what you feel, for the people you care about… You're one of those people who can't _not_ be passionate – if you'll excuse the double negative."

She rolled her eyes.

"You feel for victims, people you've never met before, and you fight harder for them. You want to find murders, not for you and your close rate, but for them, and the closure you didn't get. Still don't have."

Kate swallowed the thick lump in her throat. Outside of Christmas, it was difficult to think of her mother.

He sucked in a deep breath, then stopped them, facing her and taking her other hand. "My marriages failed because I only had pieces of what I wanted; I only gave pieces of myself," he told her quietly. "But you… You demand _everything_. You give everything, and you want everything in return. That's… terrifying."

"You never gave everything to Meredith? To Gina?"

"I couldn't," he shrugged. "The last time I'd given anything worth while…"

And Kate knew he was talking about Kyra. It still stung, she realized, just without the blinding pain. She forced herself to breathe. "You give everything to Alexis. To your mother."

"I don't really get a choice," he said ruefully. "When the girl spits up on you for the first four months of her life and follows that up with diaper changes, teething, potty training… You can't give less than everything." Humour flashed through his eyes, before it was replaced by familial warmth. "And Mother… well, she's difficult to say no to on a good day."

Kate chuckled.

"I've never really wanted to give everything," he admitted after a moment, looking down at the way his hand fit in hers. "But you… at first you demanded it. Then… Now… It doesn't feel right to hold anything back."

Her head was spinning wildly. Did he realize that this was speeding up their time-table? They weren't even technically dating and he was already delving into things that she'd barely covered by the time she hit the sixth month mark – if she hit the six month mark – in her other relationships.

And that, she considered carefully, could very well be because he was right. But was she the one who demanded everything? Or was he? Was he responding to her demand because she was responding to his?

But then, despite the fact that Kate knew he was waiting for some sort of answer or response, Kate found herself asking a new question: did it matter? It really didn't. Whomever was demanding that they expose absolutely everything was a redundant question when they both needed – and if Kate was honest with herself, wanted – to share everything. Deliberately or not.

So she looked up at him. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because for you to give us an honest chance, you need to know," he replied, surprise in his voice. He'd fully expected her to understand and probably to be a bit grateful that he was just jumping in with both feet. "I'm not innocent in the break-ups of my marriages, but I'm not solely to blame either."

"Your marriages aren't what I'm concerned about," she said, after a moment. She was frustrated with her inability to come up with a word better than 'problem', but for Kate, it was more about the point. "You wouldn't have gotten married if you didn't think it was the right decision and if you didn't feel it."

"Is this about the Castle Groupies?"

She smiled despite herself, at the childish name, stepping closer to absorb more of Rick's heat. "You can't deny it."

"I can't deny they exist. Like I said, there have been women," Rick agreed, nodding even. "But most of them weren't fans. That would be mixing business with pleasure. It's a scary concept." He cocked his head to the side. "I didn't even know you read the gossip."

"I don't," she said, eyes skittering away, "but I've seen you at work."

Rick's smile was small and somewhat indulgent. "You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, Kate. I can't be mean to my fans. They'll stop buying my books."

"Would that be a terrible thing?"

"Yes," he said, the smile falling off of his face. "Not the buying of them, not for the money… I like to believe that I give people hope. I give them an escape. I give them something other than their real lives. I like to think I contribute, at least in my own way." He squeezed her hand, then started rubbing them as he noticed a shiver drill down her spine.

Kate went willingly when he started walking again, looping her arm through his. It took her a minute, considering carefully, thinking about what he'd exposed to her. It was a lot. "You do help people," she finally said.

Rick looked over at her in surprise. "I'm sorry?"

"You do help people," she repeated, looking up at him with a small smile. "You do give people an escape. And you write a mystery that always gets solved. It is hopeful. Sometimes it's exactly what you need to cope."

Something told Rick she wasn't referring to the general population, but this wasn't about her. He filed it away though. That was a piece of information he definitely wanted to probe at a later date. "I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

"I'm not that mean," she said with a chuckle. "You just make it too easy."

They strolled in silence a little longer, Rick taking the initiative to steer them back to the outskirts of the park. He stopped at the sidewalk, looking over the New York streets. "I need you to believe that I'm really in this," he told her, unable to look at her. "I need you to believe that after a year, after battling through Coonan, after pushing through your mom's case… I need you to see that wanting this… It's not just about getting the woman who keeps telling me 'no'." He shrugged, and it was a little self-deprecating. "I want you because of who you are. I want you because of the things you do. I want you because you have a heart of gold."

He faced her then, catching her face in his palms and sending Kate's heart skittering.

"This has nothing to do with a conquest. It has nothing to do with my past. It has to do with _you_, Kate, and how much you've come to mean to me."

One hand came up to hold his wrist. "It's about us," she said quietly. "I understand, Rick."

"Do you?"

He looked like her answer was the most important thing in the world, like it could shatter him.

"I'm not going to tell you that you don't have something to prove," Kate began softly. "You do, and there's no way of getting around that. But I also know that it's not that simple. This isn't just about proving yourself, this is about my walls and my privacy." She squeezed his wrist gently. "Rick, I wouldn't be here if this wasn't where I wanted to be."

She thought for sure he would kiss her. Instead, he slid a hand down her arm to grasp her hands, and placed his lips against her cheek. He hailed a cab then, and gave the cabbie her address without thought. She smiled and shook her head when his hand fell to hers on the seat, fiddling with her fingers, switching the grip.

When the cab pulled up to her building, Rick looked to her. "Coffee?"

Kate laughed. "Isn't that supposed to be my line?"

"I'm stealing it," he replied on a grin.

"I'd have to arrest you."

He took her in with a slow, careful, lingering gaze. "I don't think you've got anywhere to hide your cuffs, Detective."

She shook her head affectionately, then sunk her teeth into her lower lip. She leaned forward, watching him freeze as she inched closer and closer.

"Not tonight," she finally said, her breath wafting over his cheek. She changed the angle slightly, just enough so her lips met the corner of his mouth instead. "'Night."

She left him stunned in the cab, all but floating up to her apartment. Quite apparently, it took him a few minutes to regain himself. Her phone chimed five minutes later.

_Until tomorrow, Kate_.

She laughed.

* * *

_Holy long time, Batman!_

_As some of you know, I had real life punch me in the gut. Add to that the fact that Rome (which is now New England, go figure) ended up taking over my writing life... well, this got shoved to the background. Apparently, when life hands you lemons, you really do make lemonade. I wasn't in the mood to write the fluffy and the fluffy was actually the only thing that was left. Most of the deep conversations were already written. _

_Typos, missteps... all mine. I'll find them, if they exist, so no worries on pointing them out. _

_Next one's going to be a long time coming too. I have an idea of exactly the step they need to take, I just need date context to do it in and a reason they'd be doing two dates back to back. I'll figure it out. I have faith in me. _

_Oh, and ALMOST 60 REVIEWS! Yeesh. You guys are awesome. And maybe a bit crazy. But really, just awesome. Phenomenal really. Like... seriously phenomenal. _


	3. Chapter 3

**Prove It**

**December 28, 2010**

With the holidays now over, Kate had returned to the regular hustle and bustle of the Twelfth and never had she been more excited about it. What she was doing with Rick – and she was stubbornly resisting giving it a proper title – was a terrifying experience for her, partially because of what he'd put on the line the previous night, but also because she knew that as much as he had to prove himself, she had to be willing to open up in a similar way. She had a lot of walls, justifiable ones, and asking Rick to prove himself was going to be useless if she couldn't battle back some of those barricades.

And it would make his bid for her heart impossible.

It actually didn't come as a surprise that she _didn't_ want it to be impossible. Christmas had been fun, and she'd truly enjoyed herself. It had felt really good to share herself and even better to sure her mother. Rick hadn't belittled any of it either. He'd embraced every piece of Johanna she'd been willing to share – and simultaneously every piece of herself – regardless of the fact that he hated the holiday. She'd opened up to him, and didn't that mean something in itself?

There was no obligation either. She wasn't in this "chance" because she felt she had to be. Sure, he'd set it up like he wasn't giving her a choice, but she was under no illusion that it was, and always would be a choice she could renege on. And she certainly didn't feel like she had to give him the chance because he'd put aside his feelings on Christmas to share her traditions.

Finally giving up on even the pretense of paperwork, Kate dropped her head into her hands. She wasn't all that good with bombshells and Rick had dropped a number on her the previous night. Hadn't she proven she didn't do well with surprises? Especially ones of a personal nature like he'd been tossing at her like tennis balls?

She couldn't deny he had a history. It would be naïve of her to do so. There was even a part of her that didn't want to jump to the conclusion that the same thing would happen to them. There was a part of her that wanted to be different, hell _needed_ to be different. Because there was a part of her that wanted them to work.

And that alone terrified her.

He'd made the very true point of mentioning that their relationship would take everything out of them. It already had. The roller coaster they'd already been on in the last year gave evidence to such a thing. But Kate, despite his accusation that she was the one who demanded everything, had never opened herself up that much. It terrified her to think of how far out of her comfort zone he was going to push her.

It became a twofold question: one, was she willing to let him see her at her most vulnerable, and two, would he catcher, hold her, when she took the tumble?

"Detective."

She jumped. Actually jolted. Then, with an embarrassed blush blossoming on her face, looked up at Rick. "Hi."

"Hi," he answered, concern in his eyes as his eyebrow rose curiously. He was a little afraid, in the clear light of day, that he'd dumped too much on her the previous night. "Looks like I interrupted some deep thoughts."

God, he hoped his voice didn't tremble as much as he thought it did.

"Yes. Um, no." Crap. She shuffled a few papers. "Where's my coffee?" Best defense was a good offense, she reminded herself. Distract him.

Rick's entire demeanor changed immediately as he settled against her desk. "I was thinking we could go out for it. And lunch."

Kate's eyes darted to the clock. She'd forgotten that analyzing her relationship with the man leaning beside her took up more time than she could really devote to it while sitting at her desk. She chewed her lip. "Like-"

"A date," he finished, lowering his voice appropriately for the precinct.

She sucked in a breath. Why was this so much more than the other times he'd asked? She felt the pressure beneath the question, the slow bleed of her personal into her professional life. And yet…

"Yeah," she said quietly. "Okay."

Because they were in the precinct, he restrained every instinct to help her slide the coat over her shoulders and resolutely slid his hands into his pockets so he wouldn't touch her. But he _really_ wanted to. They walked out of the precinct and she stepped closer, surprising him as her shoulder brushed against his. Her looked over to find her chewing her lips.

She waited until they were around the corner and out of sight of the precinct before she spoke. "You know, I agreed to a date, Rick."

He grinned, wide and pretty much involuntarily. His hand cupped her elbow then slid down until he could take her hand in his. He tried not to choke on his tongue when she deliberately wove their fingers together He cleared his throat. "So, are you going to tell me what you were thinking about?"

"It wasn't a case."

"That wasn't my question."

Kate looked over at him. There was no bloody way she was anywhere close to being ready to tell him about the mental upheaval she'd gone through. Not a chance. "Nope," she replied, then she went with instinct and kissed his cheek. "I have to keep some secrets. You'll get bored with me if I don't."

She'd walked into a cliché, but he couldn't stop himself. He hated when she said that, not because it reflected badly on him – though it did – but because it reflected badly on _her_. He tugged her to the inner edge of the sidewalk, out of the passing lunch traffic and pulled her hand to his mouth. The kiss he placed on her palm was chaste, but he knew his eyes were honest and heated. "I won't get sick of you, Kate."

"I believe you believe that," she said after a moment, her voice a low murmur.

Instead of being offended, he chuckled. "For someone so confident, it never ceases to shock me how little you think of yourself."

"Oh, come on, Rick." She rolled her eyes.

"Why don't you think you're good enough?" he blurted. He really did want to know, wanted to understand, and pulled her closer with an arm wrapped around her back. "Because despite the fact that I know neither of us think _I'm_ good enough, you rebuff every complement, sincere or not, I give you. And I'm pretty sure it's not because you don't think I'm serious."

Kate swallowed. Thickly. Panic welled in her chest. "Weren't we going for lunch?"

He stared her down for a few more minutes, searching though the anxiety in her gaze. Then he grinned widely. "Never step between Kate Beckett and her caffeine."

They had a diner that was 'theirs', different from Remy's and just a few blocks away from the precinct. They were greeted by name as they stepped in and she tugged him to a table. They settled on opposite sides of the booth, their feet tangling immediately. A shy smile broke out over Kate's face.

"So, Master Romancer," she teased gently, unable to stand the silence. "What's the plan for Date Two?"

"There isn't one," he admitted sheepishly. He couldn't stop himself from reaching out to take her hands. "This was a little bit of an impulse. I just wanted to see you."

"You see me every day at the precinct, you don't have to take me out to lunch" she replied, even as she blushed. "You don't have anything planned?"

"Kate, I'm flying by the seat of my pants with you," he admitted. "You're _real_."

Whether he realized the deliberate phrasing or not, her spine stiffened in automatic response.

His thumb slid over the back of her hand. "I'm not sure I remember how to do real."

The next words came without a real conscious move on her part and were out of her mouth before she even really realized it. "What happened last time?"

Awareness sparked through his gaze. He was the king of speaking in metaphors and recognized her question for what it was. "It was… Hard," he admitted, tightening his grip on her hands. "Your first love is always intense. When you're that young, you think it's going to last forever. So when it doesn't… Some people bounce back and realize that first love doesn't mean only love and some are so hurt by it that they bury themselves in other things."

Their food came then – as regulars, they so very often didn't have to order and because they'd been in so many times for a quick lunch between leads, it always came fast – and they took a moment to take a few bites. Then Rick swallowed, putting down his sandwich and reaching out to brush his fingers against her wrist.

"Everything was so new. We were so young and yet… we were so in love. We thought we could conquer anything. I was fresh off my first bestseller and slated for amazing things. We were still in school and still had so much of our lives ahead of us. And that meant that there was always going to be a time where we were going to have to go our separate ways."

"Why didn't you go after her?" Kate asked, stealing a fry from his plate, even though she had her own.

"Because I thought she really did want space. I was still moping over her when I met Meredith and that was a relationship that seemed so simple. The sex…"

She winced, though it was half exaggerated, and he grinned.

"And then there was Alexis and I didn't want my daughter raised the same way I was."

"So you married her."

He shrugged. "I was still young, still stupid. After that… After she cheated…"

"There was Alexis to consider." Kate could put the story together from there. Alexis was his world and she knew he was the type of father that didn't introduce his daughter to a woman he was dating unless he had plans for her to stick around. She breathed out a breath, the looked up at him.

"How am I different?"

"I trust you," he said, like it was the most obvious answer in the world. "I know you. You're not going to cheat. If you decide that we're going to do this, I know you'll put your whole heart into it. It won't be something you'll do on a whim, so I know that we're both going to be on the same page." This time, he grasped her hand. "And I'm older now, wiser, in some respects. I have a pretty good idea of the woman I want. I don't want a celebutante or a bimbette, as you so eloquently call them. I _want_ real. I want someone who's going to keep me on my toes. I want someone who understands my family. I want to be able to look into the future and know that the woman beside me is going to keep me guessing for the next fifty years."

God, he'd overwhelmed her again. She could only squeeze his hand as she looked back down at her meal. She was just about to reply when her phone rang. There was apology in her eyes as she reached for the device.

"Beckett."

"We've got one," Esposito told her on the other end. "West Broadway and Spring." The other detective paused. "It's Beckett Flavoured."

She rolled her eyes. "I wish you guys would stop saying that. It makes me sound twisted."

"When you look at the cases you get, Boss, you kinda are."

Kate made a mental note to hit Esposito when she got to the crime scene. "We'll be right there." She hung up the phone, then looked to Rick. "Body dropped."

He wiped his hands on his napkin. "This doesn't count."

She was already pulling on her coat. "What?"

"As one of our dates. We didn't finish it. It doesn't count."

"Rick-"

"You promised."

Good Lord, she hated when he went all earnest and sincere on her. She rolled her eyes and headed out of the restaurant. Kate sucked in a breath on the sidewalk as the door swung closed behind him, turning and stopping his movement towards the car with a hand on his chest.

"Not tomorrow," she said quietly.

It took him a minute to realize she was talking about Date Two. "Why not?"

"It's been… an emotional couple of days, Rick," she said with a gentle smile. Her hand came up from his chest to brush his cheek. "We need time."

"I don't," he blurted.

She looked at him, closely, carefully. The fear was there, buried behind his deceivably bright grin. But Kate knew what she was looking for. "I'm not running," she told him, surprising even herself with how sincere she was. She didn't want to run. She just… needed a minute. She needed to find her balance in everything he'd said over the last forty-eight hours, and she needed to do it with the closest thing to a clear head she could. "I just… You've given me a lot of information in a short time."

"It's too much, isn't it?" He squeezed her hands. "It was too much."

"No," Kate said forcefully, shaking her head. It was moments like these – the nerves, the uncertainty, the vulnerability – that spoke better than his words did. He was a writer; she didn't always trust his words. But when he was so open like this, so afraid of what she would do, she couldn't help but see how important she was. So she leaned up, ignoring the street around them, to touch her mouth to his.

Rick latched on, releasing one of her hands so his could tangle in her hair. She squeaked, just slightly, in surprise, but he didn't hear it. He took her under swiftly, skillfully, and Kate found herself unsure of which way was up, and which was down. It was a heady and terrifying feeling.

And yet, it was damned thrilling.

She arched against his body, allowing herself to respond without thought. It was a glorious feeling, even though there was a part of her screaming at her that they were in the middle of a sidewalk. Her arms snuck around his waist and she let herself be dragged under the heat.

"I'm not saying I want to stop," she said when they pulled away and she managed to catch her breath again. "I'm not saying I don't want to... put an end to our agreement, I guess. I'm asking for time to think about what you've told me. I need to think."

He knew that. She always needed to think. But he wasn't sure he was going to like the outcome if she didn't. And he wanted to make sure that this didn't count towards his three dates. "We still get a Date Two," he pushed, leaning in again. "This one was interrupted by murder."

"Rick, a lot of our dates are going to be interrupted by murder," she mumbled against his mouth.

"I know," he replied, the brush of his mouth soft this time, like he couldn't get enough of her. "And I would never ask you to change your job or stop working just for a _date_. I just want my chance."

This time, she chuckled. "And you don't think you'll get it if we're interrupted by my job?"

"No," he replied, pulling away to stroke a thumb softly over her cheek. "I want the chance to take you out, treat you like a princess."

She laughed, even as her heart beat thickly in her chest. "We just had Date One-Point-Five in a greasy diner, Rick."

He grinned, wide, and she knew it had everything to do with her subtle agreement on a _real_ Date Two. "Then we'll just have to make Date Two extravagant, won't we?"

Kate rolled her eyes and shook her head, then followed instinct and kissed him again. "Come on. Someone's dead. And I do believe Esposito used the phrase 'Beckett-flavoured'."

His face transformed into a gleeful grin, a trace of heat still dancing through his baby blues. "I _love_ Beckett-flavoured."

Kate rolled her eyes.

* * *

_2800+ words later..._

_I battled with this one, which is why it took so much longer than I wanted to. There were things I wanted to make sure got said and things I wanted to address, and then other little ideas popped in... It's been an arduous fight with this chapter. And I'm having the same problem over on New England too. Which is only annoying because I've pushed my school work out of the way and now my irrational guilt complex is kicking in. I need a shrink. _

_BUT! The point at the end of the day is that I'm pretty sure I like what I've done here. There's some things that are deliberately worded, questions I've left deliberately unanswered... Is it sad that I'm finding the set up twice as much fun as thinking of the end?_

_Typos and mistakes are mine. All mine. Like always, I'll probably find them eventually. _

_Half way there..._


	4. Chapter 4

**Prove It**

**December 29, 2010**

"I want you to come by the loft tonight."

There was a split second pause in the smooth movement of her hands that told him she'd heard his request. They were in the break room, taking a breather, getting some space from the case. He was already sitting at the table - since she'd asked for personal space, he'd refrained from offering to make it for her - with his own mug.

"Castle..."

"I know," he said. "And I had fully intended on giving you the space you asked for but it's been a long day. I want to pamper you."

She arched an eyebrow at him over her shoulder. "Do I want to know your plans to 'pamper' me?"

"Why, Detective, I was merely offering dinner. Maybe some candlelight, soft music, enjoyable company..."

It did sound... Romantic, but Kate wasn't sure she'd done enough thinking to feel comfortable with the idea. Most of her thoughts had been intermittent, fleeting, and she hadn't come to any concrete conclusions. She wanted some concrete conclusions before she even considered letting him sweep her off her feet again.

"I just want you to relax, Kate."

She continued to stir her coffee, just to give her hands something to do. After a moment, she cleared her throat. "I thought Date Two was supposed to be extravagant?"

"I believe elegant was the descriptor we chose," he shot back. "You don't think elegant can be relaxing?"

"I think an expensive, fancy restaurant is not where I want to spend my dinner hour," she answered on a sigh.

He smirked at her. "Oh ye of little faith. I said stop by the loft, remember?"

Kate turned, still stirring and staring down into the brown liquid in her cup. "Why are you doing this?"

He, thankfully, took a minute before answering. "Because I want you to know who I am. If we're going to do this right, if we're going to give this an honest shot, we need to know where each of us is coming from. We need to know what baggage we carry. You're a one and done kind of girl, Kate." He shrugged, trying for nonchalance, but Kate could tell it was feigned. He was dead serious, and he was about to gift her with one massive revelation.

"I want it to be me."

And she was utterly seduced. "Okay," she said, before she even realized she was agreeing. "Date Two tonight."

"Wear something... Captivating," he told her, leaning close.

Her hands stuttered on her coffee cup. She was lucky she didn't drop it. "Is this where you start treating me like a princess?"

"No," Rick responded, grinning at the effect he had on her. "Better."

"There's something better than a princess?" Her hands were steady again, but it had everything to do with the fact that she was totally distracting herself.

He leaned over her shoulder now, just enough so his breath brushed against her ear and his body brushed against hers. "You have no idea," he whispered.

She groaned. She was never going to live that down.

"Come by the loft," he repeated. "Eight. And don't make me come down here to drag you away."

* * *

To be honest, and putting her _many_ reservations aside, Kate was kind of excited to see what Rick would think of next. It was one of the things she liked about him. He kept her on her toes, kept her guessing and he kept her life from getting too dull or boring. She wasn't far enough in denial to acknowledge that he'd grown on her.

The question was simply about how much she trusted that as a foundation for a long-term relationship.

She hadn't even realized she'd knocked on the door until he swung it open. They just stood there, him in a dark suit, white shirt, and no tie, and her, in a burgundy dress that accentuated the subtle reds in her hair. Neither said a word, and he just kind of stared as he took her in from the top of the curls she'd half-pulled back into a clip to the toes of her black court-day heels.

The fission along her nerves made her breath catch.

"You clean up nice, Detective Beckett."

She rolled her eyes at him, and in a blink, everything was normal. She reached out, toying with the edge of his shirt collar. "You don't do so badly yourself."

He hooked his arm around her waist, pulling her into the apartment. Once he'd closed – and prudently locked – the door, he wrapped his other arm around her waist and pulled her close, nuzzling against her ear.

"Thank you for coming by."

"Why are you thanking me?" she asked, tilting her head slightly.

Rick simply settled his forehead against her shoulder. "Because you'd asked for time. And yet you're here, in a fantastic dress."

The hand that was still at her side moved to wrap around his neck. Her other one slid to join it. "I'm kind of glad you asked me."

"You are?"

"I am," she reaffirmed. "I wasn't actually looking forward to take out."

"And that's assuming you even fed yourself at all," he quipped, shifting so his forehead rested against hers instead. Blue met green as her mouth turned down into a pout.

"I would have eaten."

"You forget," he replied, and there was no accusation or reprimand in his tone, simply a statement of fact. "But that's okay. I remember."

The layers to that statement ricocheted through her system. He did take care of her. Very good care of her. "Speaking of…"

"In the oven, waiting for you," he replied. He reached up to her shoulders, sliding the wool coat she'd worn but not done up off her body. She caught her first glimpse of the loft when he stepped away to hang it up.

And couldn't help the gasp.

It was out of some romance dream, maybe even an actual novel. The couch was gone – she decided she really wasn't going to ask where – but the coffee table remained, covered completely with thick, cream-coloured pillar candles. The entertainment system boasted the same, and he'd lit them all. While the entry way and the kitchen were lit by bulbs, the empty living room was dim. There was a blanket spread out over the carpet, two wine glasses sitting temptingly beside a bottle.

"Rick." She could do no more than breathe out his name.

His hand splayed over her lower back. He'd taken a risk. He'd long-ago guessed that she had an intensely romantic side to her, that she was the long-walk-on-the-beach type, but he'd never really had affirmation. Until now. "You like?"

"What did you do?"

"Nothing," he answered, pleased rather than offended. Usually, he rendered her speechless under much different circumstances. "I'm fulfilling a promise."

She stepped further into the room, taking it all in. "Rick," she repeated.

He took that as acknowledgment of a job well done and grinned widely. "Well. Had I known this was all it took to make you speechless, I'd have done it a long time ago."

"I wouldn't have been ready."

The way it was murmured out, he had a feeling she didn't even realize she'd said it. Still, he closed his eyes to savour the memory. _Wouldn't have_. Was she now? He wanted to ask, but he knew the score here. He knew Kate, better than she probably gave him credit for sometimes. And he was going to wait for her to come to him.

So instead, he simply offered her a smile when she turned back with adorably surprised eyes. She was touched, he could tell and he loved that something so simple could evoke such a reaction. "I'm glad you like it."

She surprised him by reaching out for him and he slipped his hand into hers as she stepped closer. "You drive me nuts, Rick," she murmured. "But sometimes you can be really sweet."

He felt his heart actually flutter. He squeezed her hand. "Is that a complement I hear?" He wanted to keep the evening light, relaxed.

"Of course not," she quipped in response, a smirk teasing the corners of her mouth. "You're delirious. Now feed me."

He leaned into her, at the same time pulling her just a little bit closer. "Your wish is my command, your majesty."

Her breath caught. He heard it and felt it.

"A girl could get used to that," she breathed.

Then she kissed him.

A light brush of lips, but it sent his heart into a free fall. She didn't deepen the contact, and he didn't move to do so either. He let her set the pace, even as desire pumped through his blood. This night was for her. Their pace would be hers to set and though it pained him to deal with this tenderness, he simply responded.

The sigh she released when she stepped back was almost his undoing. Pleasure, definitely, and though he was reluctant to name it for fear of getting his hopes up, contentment.

"Food," he murmured into the miniscule space between their mouths. "You pour the wine. I'll get the food."

Kate felt the grin stretch her face and turned to the wine. Her entire body trembled with gentle sensation. That was expected. He _was_ Rick Castle after all, and he probably had plenty of practice. The power that raced through her was a bit of a surprise. She'd seen it in his eyes, the weakness, the loss of control and the shadow that told her he was barely reigning in his self-control. It was a thrill that something as soft as that kiss could put him on the edge like that.

She kicked her shoes off at the edge of the blanket, smiling as she flashed back to childhood summer picnics in Central Park. "Smells delicious," she called to him as she reached for the bottle.

"Quesadillas," he answered, watching her curl her legs beneath her. His emotions were running wild. He was nervous, giddy, excited, terrified and everything deeper. He liked seeing her so comfortable in his home. Hell, he just liked seeing her. She looked adorably and effortlessly sexy.

Rick carried two plates over to her. "Salsa? Sour cream?"

"Both," she replied accepting the plates so he didn't spill.

The easy conversation they fell into when he returned with the condiments served to settle them both. Though they routinely talked, this was a different setting with different rules. He took advantage of these new rules and let his more tactile nature shine through. He touched her as often as he could, a brush of his fingers against hers as he handed her a freshly refilled wine glass and tucking a loos strand of hair behind her ear. Kate just soaked it all in. For the first time, she shut off her brain and simply let their natural relationship shine through. After all, wasn't that the point? To see if a real relationship could work, or at least if there was enough of a foundation to build one on. She doubted she could make the decision if she'd held back.

So she didn't. She let him inch closer over the course of the meal and didn't move away when his arm settle behind her back and beside her opposite hip. Now, he was flat on his back while Kate supported herself against his hip, her legs stretched out in front of her. It wasn't the most comfortable position for her, but it was less intimate than actually settling against him. His head was pillowed on an arm tucked under his head, while his other hand played with the edge of her skirt. She felt simultaneously relaxed and energized. It felt easy.

"It's getting late," he murmured, his fingers brushing gently against her thigh.

"It is," she agreed, swirling the wine still left in her glass. "I should go home."

"You don't have to. You've stayed here before."

Kate turned her head to look down at him, a small smile dancing over her lips. "Not like this.."

"Like this?" Rick's fingers stroked more deliberately, this time against the skin just above her knee.

"If we both want this to work," she began, setting her wine aside, "then we do it for real. No sleepovers until we're both ready."

He knew she was right, but he still didn't want her to leave. He _really_ liked having her in his space. She took his hand in both of her own. "Say the word."

She laughed, tracing the bones in his hand. "Not yet. We haven't even decided if we're ready for a relationship."

"With all due respect, Honey, it's on you. I know what I want. I want you."

"You make it sound so simple," she replied, her eyes fixed on his hand, the way it looked and fit in her own.

"It can be," he argued softly. "It's easy to be with you, to be beside you, and when it's not, it's easy to fight until it is." Rick twisted his hand until he could squeeze hers. "I'm not saying it's going to be smooth, but when you know the endgame, it's easier to get through the rough patches."

"Moments like these remind me that you really are a writer."

"Kate," he said in reproval. "I've never told you something because I know it's what you want to hear, not when it's about us."

"You believe 'us' is a given," she murmured, still avoiding his eyes. "Inevitable."

Rick squeezed her hand again, tugging it slightly until she did face him. She looked at him, vulnerable and insecure. Her walls had been down all night, but he could see them sprouting up again. "Because I refuse to imagine a world where we're not," he replied, hoping it slipped beneath those barriers.

She blinked at him in sudden awareness. "You're in love with me."

Though his heart stuttered at her blunt recognition, he knew he had to lesson the punch the words evoked in both of them. It was too terrifying, for him because he knew she could break him and for her because it was too much, too soon. "Maybe," he acknowledged. "I care for you. A lot. And I'm attracted to you. I think we could make a real long-term relationship work. Until we try that, I don't know if it's love."

She took that in, then let her mind stew over it…

And merely gave him a smile in return.

"I should go." Still, she waited for him to stand with her before heading towards her shoes.

"The offer of the guest room still stands," he told her as she slipped the heels back on. Rick couldn't decide if he liked how at home she looked in her bare feet or if he preferred how they looked a mile long when she put on the heels.

"I know," she replied, making her way to the door. She let him reach for her coat and hold it out for her. "But half the fun of a really good date is leaving them wanting more."

His hands slid down her arms in a familiar gesture. "Does that mean I don't get a goodnight kiss?"

Kate felt his hand splay warmly over her back as she turned. "That would be sacrificing something I want."

He absorbed her words with a wide grin as she loped her arms around his neck. It was thrilling to know she wanted this. He took his time leaning in, building the anticipation. His lips brushed against hers once, twice, then pressed firmly against hers. One of her hands pushed back into his hair and held on. He kept the kiss slow and deep, tasting her and making her sigh pleasantly into his mouth. Her response was just as enthusiastic and she fit her body snugly against his. He groaned softly and snuck a hand beneath her jacket to be closer to her skin.

He teased and tested, trying out different angles, depths, pressures and Kate lost herself. She wasn't usually one to give up control but with what she and Rick had been through, she would have been stupid not to trust him. He'd made mistakes, but that didn't change the ways he'd been there for her, the ways he'd helped her, the ways he showed he cared.

He felt the release of her control in the way she went pliant in his arms. It was a tempting offer and he knew, without a doubt, he could seduce her into staying. Hell, probably seduce her into staying in his bed. But she wanted this to be real, she wanted to know she made the right choice, and that meant he had to pull back, no matter how much he wanted to dive in. He slid his hands out from beneath her coat as they both puffed in the aftermath and her eyes opened languidly.

"Huh. I like that goodnight," she told him breathlessly.

He leaned in for a last gentle kiss. "Goodnight, Kate."

She opened the door and stepped into the hallway. "Goodnight, Rick."

Half an hour later, he was just climbing into bed after cleaning up the living room when a text came through to his phone.

. . . . .

_Home safe. Awesome Date Two. You sure know how to treat a girl_.

He grinned. _Glad to be of service._

It was a few minutes before the next text came in. _Date Three?_

_New Year's Gala. Friday. Formal._ He didn't want to give her more details than he had to. He liked holding back the element of surprise.

He could almost hear her sigh when his phone chimed with her answer. _Are you providing the dress?_

_Do you trust me?_ he texted back.

He was working himself into a tizzy about her lack of response when the happy chiming sounded again. _I trust you._

He grinned. _I'll have the dress delivered tomorrow. Sleep sweet, Kate.

* * *

_

_As usual, typos and mistakes are mine and mine alone. _

_I hope you enjoyed! 2 chapters left!  
_


	5. Chapter 5

**Prove It**

**December 30, 2010**

Kate wasn't on shift. She wasn't scheduled to be. Which worked just fine for her. She had chores around her apartment she'd been neglecting, mostly because of how much of her holiday time had been spent with the Castles.

And she liked to clean while thinking.

She had a lot to think about, a lot to consider, and a lot of decisions to make. Choosing to officially date Richard Castle involved a lot of careful and precise thought. It wasn't something she was just willing to jump into.

At the surface, she could argue it was about Alexis. Kate liked Rick's daughter. A lot. She wouldn't have gifted that angel to just anyone. In many ways, Alexis reminded Kate of her own teenage self, the one whose mother had just been killed. Kate didn't mind falling into that maternal role for a teenager. Alexis, after all, was pretty self-sufficient. But that didn't mean that her heart was a solid rock. On the contrary, Kate had first-hand experience of how delicate Alexis' heart really was and she didn't want to dive head first into a relationship with the teenager's father without thinking of the consequences to Alexis. As much as Kate knew that Alexis loved her father dearly, sometimes there were just things that needed a woman's touch.

But Kate knew it went deeper than that.

She was risking a friendship. She was risking a partnership. She was risking a solid professional relationship that she'd come to rely on and that helped her get her job done. Now, she was less likely to sit puzzling over a case into the wee hours of the morning. Rick had always been able to find some way to get her out of the precinct, whether it was for dinner or for the night and when she got back to the board, there was always something fresh. When that didn't work, he spun crazy tales of unicorns and double rainbows and something always shook out. He was good at asking the right questions at the right times and he kept her from getting too bogged down.

He could give her the world. At least, so long as it could be bought. She was completely sure that if she asked for a freaking Caribbean island, he'd buy it for her that second. But Kate had never been one to care about money. Financially, there wasn't a question. She refused to even consider the physical – fantasies aside, she was human, after all, and he wasn't unattractive – until their 'whatever' became a solid relationship. Emotionally… Now there was where the challenge was.

Despite common belief, Kate was actually pretty aware of herself. She knew she was damned smart, and definitely sassy. She was independent, though just how far and potentially dangerous that independence was had been a relatively new revelation. She was strong, in both senses of the word, and intensely private. She'd made herself who she was with grit and determination when there had been no one else. That had been partially her doing – pushing people away so they didn't have to see her dad – but that had built her, changed her, _made her_.

She knew she lived a big portion of her personal life in denial. It was generally safer that way. She had needs, and she'd had boyfriends, but she'd kept it largely superficial after her mother's death. Will had come close, but they'd been orbiting in two different circles. When he moved, she hadn't even considered saying yes.

Rick…

He was a whole other bag of fun.

He'd jumped right in with both feet. He hadn't given her any space, any reprieve. He just kept pushing, pushing, always pushing. He wanted more, he wanted it all and she was almost one hundred percent sure it had stopped being about Nikki Heat when it started to become about her mother. That wasn't to say he was sticking around for that story. Her mother's case had simply been yet another cosmic shift in their relationship, and one that had withstood its potential to break them.

But she hadn't pushed him away. She'd had a million chances, a million ways she could have kept her distance. But then he'd started doing stupid things, like bringing her coffee, buying a vest, saving her damned life. She'd never stood a chance after that.

Still, it didn't give her the answers she was looking for. Or really, the _answer_. Because there was really only one thing she couldn't figure out: why her.

Why was she so special? What made him so fixated on her? Was it because she was so damaged and he needed a fix for his hero complex? Was it because she was a puzzle that he wanted to figure out, and after that he'd be done with her? Was it because she'd said 'no' from the beginning, and now it was just about winning her? Logically, she understood it was all irrational. He'd introduced her to his family, his daughter. He'd let her into his life, into his home, and even she wasn't so far in denial she couldn't see the leaps and bounds they'd made at Christmas.

But that didn't change her thoughts.

Kate started to pace. One end of her couch, then back to the other, then back again.

And again.

And again.

Damnit!

She plunked herself down on the couch, then stood back up, restless and antsy. Why the hell was this so difficult? He wasn't asking for forever, he wasn't asking for permanence. Well, he was, in some ways, and she knew that the romantic in him wanted forever, but he wasn't dumb enough to just… throw that out there. He'd always posited it as a 'chance'. This was his 'chance', his 'opening', his opportunity to get to know her, to have a chance to show her that their relationship could be _more_.

And though Kate kept most of her inner romantic shoved to the deep bowls of her heart on most occasions, she knew she was starting to see it. She'd already started seeing it. Future Christmases, future birthdays, summers, cases, _everything_. She could see they could be more.

But damnit, she was terrified! Did he even realize what they were putting on the line if they started this? Did he even realize what he was risking? What _they _were risking? She couldn't do it. She needed _something_. She needed a guarantee.

And she needed to damn well _know_.

The phone was in her hand and she was hitting his speed dial before her brain caught up with her fingers. Then he was answering before she could hang up.

"Why hello, Detective."

Her stomach jolted. Her nerves sizzled.

"Considering I broke the rules yesterday and was banned from the precinct, I assume a body dropped?"

"Um…" Kate started. She closed her eyes. She couldn't just hang up on him. That was rude. And he'd come over here. And she didn't want to do this in person. "No."

"No?"

She could hear the arched eyebrow in his voice, so she dove right in. "Look, we both know I'm guarded, totally, completely and utterly and I'm pretty sure your quasi-psychology can tell you exactly why. But the point is, I am, and I'm not easy to get to know and I'm _deliberately_ that way because I don't like getting hurt. And then there's _you_. You don't obey the signs, the body language, _anything_. It drives me absolutely nuts because before you waltzed into my life I thought I was okay with what I had.

"But you did, and here we are and I want to hit you and kiss you simultaneously and I _need_ to understand because I need to have at least some sort of idea of what I'm getting into." She found herself swallowing, gripping the phone tighter. "I need to understand why me? Why now? What happens if-"

"Don't."

It was the first time he'd said anything throughout her rant and Kate's voice caught.

He huffed out a sigh. "I can't make you promises, Kate. I _can't_. I don't believe in making promises I can't keep. So I can't tell you that things are always going to be perfect, that we'll never fight and we'll love each other 'til the end of days. I'd be lying. I'm going to screw up, you're going to screw up… We're both going to get mad. We're going to fight. Some of them will be little, some of them will be big, but if that's your only argument for this, then you're a coward."

Her spine stiffened.

"I doubt your parents had a perfect relationship. But they _worked_, probably because it wasn't perfect. Perfect is boring." She heard him breathe deep, but he didn't say anything more.

There was silence for a few minutes, and it was tension-filled, but neither of them seemed quite ready to speak.

And then she did.

"I don't think I could handle it if we broke."

It was a deep admission, one she would _never_ make. And she could tell he understood by the sharp intake of air on the other end of the phone.

She gripped the receiver tighter, knuckles going white. "I wasn't lying, Rick. I want you around when I find my mom's killer. You do make my job a lot easier. And I'm not sure I could go back to the way things were if we didn't work."

"Kate…" He was speechless. He didn't realize how much she leaned on him.

"So I need to believe that we will. Because I don't know what I'd do if we don't."

Silence greeted her admission and she was just considering hanging up, that the call had dropped, when he spoke.

"I think we will," he told her, voice just loud enough into the phone. "I really think we will. I think we already do."

"That's work," she argued.

"It's not. I'm not just some cop, Kate. I'm a writer, and as much as I play at being NYPD, I know I'm not trained like you. You and I… we're partners, but we're more and I think that alone has proven that we do work. We take on pressures no other couple does, and yet…" He blew out a breath. "To put it bluntly, we're already working, we're just not having sex."

"Sex complicates things."

"They're already complicated."

Well, she had to give him that much. If things weren't complicated they wouldn't be having this discussion.

"So that's it? It's already complicated so there's no reason to think about it?"

The sigh he released was so obviously exasperated. She was pissing him off and she could tell. But she couldn't help herself. She was insecure, damnit, and it was a part of her whether he liked it or not.

"Of course not."

"Then what the hell, Rick?"

And he exploded.

"You think I haven't thought about it?" he snapped. "You think that because I'm more emotional, more impulsive than you are that I haven't considered all the variables? We're volatile, Kate, we always have been, but I know that I want you and I know that friends isn't going to cut it anymore. We're going to rip each other's throats out, but we're also going to love each other with every piece of us and _I have to believe that_. Friends isn't enough. But not having you at all? That would be worse."

"Rick-"

"I've considered it," he interrupted. "I've thought about what would happen if we didn't work. Hell, I've experienced it. You shoved me out of your life once, and I respected your wishes because I'd screwed up, but I'm not making a mistake here. I'm telling you that we're going to work because I believe it. I believe in you, I believe in me, and I believe in us. I want this too much to screw it up and I think, honestly, that you do too.

"I get that you're scared, but you're a fool if you think I'm not terrified too. You're not the only one putting everything on the line. If this doesn't work out, I'm going to lose a very close friend. Alexis is going to lose a confidante and a role model. Mother… I'm not sure what she'll lose but I know she's as much a part of this as the rest of us."

She could almost see him running a hand through his hair in agitation.

"We'd both be losing and I think you know that. I also think you know that you've become a part of our family, whether we're together or not. I think you know I wouldn't let just anyone near my daughter, not even if she was NYPD. Don't delude yourself into thinking I just decided to turn up the heat, that I stopped. I got a taste, Kate, and that taste isn't anywhere near enough."

Silence fell when Rick was finished, though she could hear his heavy breathing in the background. She dropped her head into her hand, her mind whirling.

"You're willing to risk it?"

"For you? Of course I am. You shouldn't have to ask."

She didn't. Not really. He was just confirming what she already knew. "I'm terrified," she confessed.

"I know. Me too." He paused. "You have one more date. You don't have to make your decision."

The fact that he'd already made his weighed heavily on her mind, but she forced herself to bring something else to the fore. "The dress is gorgeous."

"I'm glad you think so."

The heat in his tone was unmistakable. He couldn't wait to see her in it. It made her blush. "Thank you."

"It's easy to make you beautiful," Rick answered. He cleared his throat. "The press will be there."

"I've done it before."

"Not like this."

She considered for a moment. "Do they have to know?"

"No," he replied slowly. "But they're a part of my life."

"I know that. They've become a part of mine."

"You're chased down Fifth Avenue too?"

Kate laughed, longer and harder than she probably should have, but with the tension of the conversation, she figured she was entitled. "I can't say I get much of a chance to shop on Fifth."

There was silence for a beat. Then two.

"I wouldn't have said 'yes' if I was just going to let the press scare me off. We'll pretend it's a trial run."

"And if it doesn't work?"

Kate thought about it for a moment. "We'll figure something out."

She knew what she'd done, what she'd basically told him. "Kate…"

"Don't count your chickens so fast, Writer Boy. You still have one date left."

"Seriously? You're seriously not going to-"

"Rick," she interrupted, deliberately. She wasn't even ready to say it aloud, let alone having him say it first. "One more date. See if you can handle having arm candy with a brain."

"We're going to talk about this self-esteem issue of yours, Miss Beckett." He fell silent. "You'll be brilliant. And gorgeous."

"Fantasize much?"

It was a rhetorical question. He answered it anyway. "All the time. Until tomorrow, Kate."

"Hey Rick?" she stopped him before he hung up. "Bring flowers."

She knew he was laughing when she hung up.

* * *

_I hate the end of this, and yet, I can see it. Kate demanding that he bring flowers. If I remember right, he hasn't done that yet. I could be lying. I am. He brought her tulips on the first date. I hate lying. _

_What I'm not lying about is that there is only one more chapter. And if any of you had doubts as to what her answer would be, we need to sit down and have a conversation. _

_Now the question is how exactly I want to go about this extravaganza that will be the next chapter. I'm thinking a tango. Not really. I'm lying about that. But it is New Years Eve in this little universe, so it'll be entertaining to say the least. _

_There is one thing I hate, beyond the last couple of paragraphs here, and that's picking out a dress colour for Kate. I hate it. So much. So, if there's a colour you think is appropriate for her (that isn't white, preferably, and I'd like to stay away from reds and basic black) let me know if/when you review? I always have the hardest time picking that. _

_I'm not sure when the next chapter's going to be up. I told you guys in the beginning that I was going to take my time with this story and I'm honest to goodness so glad I did. I would have never been able to crank out this quality in 6 days. Not with the 6 days I had after Christmas. So your patience is the greatest thing in the world, even better than your reviews because I don't feel the pressure to give you guys something for the sake of posting. This ending might be that, but that has everything to do with the fact that I got too excited and needed to post. And I would have just kept writing myself in circles. _

_My love to each and every one of you who has reviewed this and Three Sizes. Those of you who write know exactly how much it means. Those of you who don't write... I'm sure you could figure it out. I wish I had the time to reply to each and every one of you as the reviews came in, but know that I keep a mental track of who reviews and who reviews consistently. It's been a pleasure writing for you guys. An honest to goodness pleasure. _

_I think this is the longest AN I've written. Ever. _


	6. Chapter 6

*As usual, typos and mistakes are all mine. It's 12:30 and thus, this isn't beta'ed.

**Prove It**

**December 31, 2010**

He didn't just bring flowers.

The first one came at an ungodly hour. It must have, because it was there when Kate pulled open her door to leave for the precinct. She was scheduled for a half day both because she needed something to do and because she'd had to do some serious dealing and finangling to get out of the New Years Eve shift. She'd almost resorted to calling Rick to tell him she was working, just because she knew he'd turn around and call the mayor. But that would have been underhanded. The fact that she'd worked too many other NYE shifts had ended up working in her favour.

The first bright red tulip showed up on top of her morning paper delivery. She didn't have to think or consider who had sent it; she just shook her head with a laugh. Because she thought it was sweet. Two red chrysanthemums sat in an innocent and simple glass vase on her desk when she arrived at the precinct and she couldn't stop herself from sliding the tulip in with them.

And they kept coming.

When she went down to get lab results from Lanie, the ME's eyes had been sparkling as she handed over a red orchid.

"Girl, how your man knew you'd be comin' down here today is beyond me," Lanie had said when Kate had looked at her speculatively. Still, Lanie had reached out to wrap her hand over her best friend's on the flower stem. "This is a good thing?"

Kate's smile was shy but true. She didn't correct Lanie's use of the possessive. "Yeah. It's a really good thing."

Lanie's smile might have been brighter than Kate had ever seen. "I'm happy for you. Really happy for you."

By lunchtime, Kate had collected a red begonia, two red geraniums, and a red canna lily.

"Good God, he's creating a bouquet."

Kate blushed the same colour as the flowers at Lanie's exclamation. She looked up at her best friend in slight embarrassment. "They've been showing up all morning."

"_All_ morning?" Lanie asked, leaning her hip against Kate's desk.

"The tulip was on top of my paper this morning."

"I think he's trying to tell you something."

Kate couldn't stop herself from reaching out to brush her fingers over the tulip. "He doesn't have to. I already know."

"That he loves you?"

The detective blew out a breath. "He really does, doesn't he?" She laughed slightly. Nervously. "God, Lanie. He's in love with me."

"Glad to hear you actually admitting it," Lanie replied frankly. There was obvious insecurity written all over her best friend's face, but there was something else there too. An anticipation, a thrill, excitement at what was lying ahead of her. Lanie felt a wave of affection race through her, both for the woman in front of her and the man who had swept her off her feet. And Lanie knew the latter was not an easy task. "He told you?"

"No," Kate answered, shaking her head. "I figured it out. He… played it off. But he really does."

"And you don't get it."

"Am I stupid?" Kate asked, looking up at the ME. "For believing it couldn't be me?"

"You're entitled to your insecurities, Girl," Lanie replied. She knew better than to tell her that yes, yes she was. It wasn't about setting Kate off, but more about the fact that Lanie knew how deeply private Kate was, how guarded. "But do you believe that he truly thinks you're the greatest thing in his life?"

"That's Alexis."

"Katherine."

Kate winced. "I want to," she admitted finally. "I really want to. But I'm just a cop. He's dated… better women."

"Uh huh. And what makes them better? The fact that they don't have a brain? The fact that they let him control the relationship? The fact that they adore him so much for the fact that he's _the_ Richard Castle?" Lanie reached out to grasp Kate's hand that was still toying with the tulip petal. "He likes you because you treat him like a _man_. You don't treat him like a celebrity and he can trust that when you tell him this is what you want that you truly want _him_. That's a big deal, Kate."

Kate sighed.

Lanie boosted herself up so she sat on the desk, looking down at her best friend. "Look, he comes here because he's in love with you, yes, but he comes here because we see him as human. We see him as just another guy who sometimes does stupid things, but he contributes. You like that he helps your brain make crazy leaps. You don't have to explain every step of your thought process because he's right there beside you every step of the way. The NYPD doesn't treat him as this famous author. We don't grant him privileges because the mayor's in love with him. He's earned the reputation he has here. He's earned the friendship and trust he gets."

"It's real."

"Exactly."

And Kate knew she'd come full circle. 'Real' was an idea that they struggled with every day. It wasn't a surprise that Meredith wasn't real. Hell, Kate had met the woman, and the superficiality and superior attitude had rubbed her the wrong way immediately, even though the 'actress' had managed to make the connection they couldn't. And Gina… Well, Kate had never met her, but from what she'd been able to glean about Rick's publisher the relationship itself had been a sham.

But Kate had met Alexis. She'd met Martha. And she counted both of them as friends.

"You've already made your decision."

Lanie's voice startled her. Kate blinked. "Yeah."

"Have you told him?"

"No," the detective answered. "He owes me one more date." The blush spread across her cheeks, this time out of excitement and anticipation instead of embarrassment. "There's a gala tonight."

"Like formal?"

"Like formal."

"I'll be over at six."

"It's okay," Kate replied. "The dress came yesterday."

"He bought you a dress? Is it gorgeous?"

Kate shot Lanie a look. "This is Rick Castle. Of course it's gorgeous."

"I'm still coming over," Lanie insisted.

"No, you're not," Kate replied. "I'm perfectly capable of doing my own hair and makeup."

Lanie eyed her critically. "Put your hair up," she ordered. "Curls. Dark eyes. He loves your eyes."

"Lanie!" Kate exclaimed with a laugh. "I've gone on dates without your help!"

"Uh huh. And look how they turned out," the ME responded, a smile softening her words.

Kate squeezed Lanie's hand. "I'll be fine. And someone's bound to take a picture at the gala. The dress will be all over the press tomorrow."

"And you're okay with that?"

Kate had given it some thought. Was she okay with the exposure she could get? Was she okay with the rumours, the tabloids, the hounding? Well, yes. Because Rick Castle the Playboy was nothing like the real Rick that played laser tag with his daughter. He was nothing like the man who held her when she'd had no choice but to shoot her mother's killer. He was nothing like the man who'd been so happily content to sprawl out on a blanket on his bloody living room floor instead of going to a five-star restaurant.

"He's not real in front of his fans," the detective informed her friend quietly. "And I'm more than okay with that."

"Yeah," Lanie said, a wide grin blossoming over her face. She could see the decision, the contentment lurking in Kate's eyes. "Yeah you are."

* * *

Rick found himself wiping his hand on his pant leg. Despite the fact that Kate had eluded to her decision on the phone, he was still nervous. It still felt like his last chance to show her they were good together.

Of course, in some ways it was. In some ways, the last six days had been a whirlwind courtship and it felt like they were down to their last obstacle. These kinds of formal events were a part of his life and they would be part of hers when she finally told him a relationship was what she wanted. Well, assuming tonight went off without a hitch.

And that was why he was so nervous. He couldn't help thinking that there was still the potential that she could change her mind. Each step in his plans for the night had to be perfect. Or, at least, that's how he felt. He reached out and finally knocked on the door.

She pulled it open and he found his breath catching in his chest.

The sheath was royal blue. He'd seen it and thought of her, choosing satin instead of the silk he'd wanted to. It was a careful, deliberate decision on his part to leave her believing he could have chosen a more expensive dress while he could admire the way the satin shimmered on her body. The strapless, sweetheart neckline exposed her shoulders and she'd chosen to put up her hair. It drew attention to her shoulders, her collarbones and the diamond-and-white-gold snowflake he'd given her on the twenty-fifth.

He reached out for her hand, noticing the tennis bracelet on her wrist. "Where is this from?"

She blushed. "It was Mom's," she said quietly, finding that, like at Christmas, mentioning her mother didn't hurt as much with him standing right there. "I stole some of her jewelry after she died."

"You look absolutely enchanting," he replied softly, lifting her hand to kiss her wrist.

"More flowers?"

He'd actually forgotten the dozen roses were in his hand. "I do believe I'm just following orders."

She took the bouquet with a shy, girlish smile. "You've been 'following orders' all day. You're lucky red matches my apartment." She stepped back and he followed, spotting the large vase on her coffee table. It was full vase now, the rest of the red flowers having arrived over the course of the afternoon and he couldn't stop himself from grinning at the obvious way they were displayed.

Kate smiled when she turned back from filling another vase to see him staring at the flowers. "How did you even do it?"

Rick grinned at her over his shoulder. "That's my secret."

She was blushing, a very fetching pink, if he did say so himself, and he couldn't help the warmth in his stomach. She liked them. She spent so much time being the tough cop, that this delicate side of her still felt new. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah," she replied, clicking across the hardwood floor as she headed for the door. She grabbed her coat out of the closet and jumped when she turned and Rick was right there.

"May I?"

Her head tilted automatically as he took the coat from her fingers, looping his arms around her like he was just going to drape the coat over her shoulders. He changed his mind when he heard her breath catch. Instead, he used his position to pull her closer, to press his mouth softly against hers. It wasn't slow or deep, just a soft hello.

Kate's lips curved up against his. "Hi."

"Hi," he murmured back. "I think I'm already used to that."

She chuckled, a weight lifting off her chest. Here they were, going out on a date that they both knew was more than just a date. It was The Date. The stakes were high. Yet, they were still _them_, still comfortable despite the nerves.

She slid her arm into her coat as he held it, then did the same with the other. He tugged the edges together before kissing her again.

"We need to go," she murmured. "The sooner we leave, the sooner you get your answer."

"By all means." But he made no move to release her. Instead, he pulled her closer, into his arms and his embrace. She rested her forehead against his shoulder, her hands clenching in his coat at his back. It felt good to just stand there with him, stopping to take a moment.

"I'm glad you agreed to this," Rick said as they finally stepped apart. The exited the apartment and Rick waited for Kate to lock up. She offered her hand and he grinned as he took it.

There was a limo – she hadn't expected anything less – and a comfortable silence as they drove. Kate felt her nerves humming again and her body started to tense against her will.

"You okay?" he asked softly, pressing his mouth against her hair.

"Yeah," she replied. "Just… I can't turn off the nerves."

Rick slipped his fingers under her chin, tilting her face up to his. "About us?"

She shook her head. That much was true. She was confident about her decision, knew that despite the myriad and plethora of risks, it was the right one. But there was nothing that could make her feel any more comfortable about how much her life was about to change and the potential upheaval a relationship with him would cause.

Of course, he was an author. He didn't have to be on the front page, and she knew and understood that. He made that choice. His publicity team made that choice. She still had questions as to whether he'd change that with her, considering how private she was, but it was a part of him. The same way the threat of death followed her around every time she put on that badge and gun. So she was ready to accept it and deal with it in the most graceful way she knew how.

But that didn't mean she had to like it.

"Kate?"

She blinked, coming back to herself.

"Is this a make or break moment?"

God, he looked terrified. Much like her realization of how deep his feelings went, the accompanying discovery that she had the potential to shatter this man was one that was surreal.

"No," she admitted. "The press is a part of you, of your Richard Castle persona. It's different than the person I know."

"But you-"

"Will be stoic and dignified and will do my best not to embarrass you."

"That's just it," Rick murmured. "I'm likely to embarrass you."

"Good thing we're both in the same boat then, hey?" She rested her forehead against his. "It's just a little red carpet."

"This is insane," he whispered. "Aren't I supposed to be reassuring you?"

She cocked her head to the side, even though they were still touching. "Maybe it's a reciprocal thing."

Before he could answer – and he had this really great line about their entire relationship being reciprocal – the car pulled to a stop and Kate watched him slide from being her Rick to _The_ Rick. She had to admit, she felt a bit slimy, but offered him a genuine smile as he held his hand out for her.

And the shift was immediate.

His eyes softened, lost that arrogance, brought out tenderness as he tugged her from the car. His arm went around her and she could feel the pride rolling off of him in waves. She was his date. She knew what he thought of her and could only imagine his thought processes behind the wide grin. 'This is Kate' it would be saying, 'and she's here with me. This beautiful, smart, strong, _extraordinary _woman chose _me_'.

But that was okay, because she was still kind of baffled why he chose her too.

. . . . .

Kate was a champ, he decided.

He'd had the unprecedented opportunity to just watch her in a setting she wasn't comfortable in. Yet, he couldn't tell. Maybe it was because it was something she'd had to do with her parents, maybe it was just a knack for making nice with the public, but she'd charmed too many people in the room for him _not_ to notice.

But he was, admittedly, getting impatient. He wanted to hear it from her mouth. He wanted it to be official. He wanted to stop guessing that a relationship was what she wanted, what she kept alluding to. He wanted real answers. So as he carried two champagne flutes back towards where she stood, he glanced around the room for something that was, at least, semi-private.

"Thank you," she said, accepting the glass and taking a sip. She wasn't usually one to drink, but her throat was dry and it was New Years Eve.

"Come on," he requested and took her hand, excusing them from the conversation. She followed, feeling his hand warm in hers. She looked up at him curiously when he tugged her into an alcove.

"I'm done waiting."

Kate caught her breath. "Rick…"

"No," he said gently but with enough force she understood that he wasn't backing away. "It's almost 2011. I want to start the year with you."

"I know." She looked away. Could she say it? Could she tell him? She knew that they were on the same page. He knew what she wanted; she knew what he wanted; they both wanted the same thing. But that didn't make it easier to say. "I want to start it with you too."

But he shook his head. "I need the words, Kate."

She chewed her lip, her mind whirling. Her doubts were creeping up on her, asking her if she was sure, if this was what she really, truly wanted. The flirting, the fame, the fear… "And I need guarantees."

He huffed out a breath. "You don't. You want them, but you don't need them."

She opened her mouth. He shook his head.

"Look, Kate, love is supposed to be scary. The best kind of love is terrifying. It's a rollercoaster and it never stops and to be honest, I don't think it _should_ stop. The minute it stops it becomes comfortable and I don't want to settle for comfortable with you. I want you to keep me on my toes, to pinch my ear when I do something stupid, to put up with my insane theories and crazy fans. I want you to keep surprising me, to keep me guessing because there's nothing I enjoy more than getting to know the million facets that are a part of you."

"You're really serious about this," she managed softly.

"Aren't you?"

"I wouldn't be here if I wasn't. It's just… I don't know how to put it into words." There was a beat, then she was leaning into him, pressing her mouth to his and hoping to God it made sense. The way he moved against her, crowded her closer, told her it did.

Maybe that was enough. She liked learning about him too, knowing that he had different sides, knowing that through thick and thin, sickness and health, her mother's case and every other case before and after that, he would be by her side. She'd learned he was loyal, almost to a fault, and she'd learned that he would move heaven and earth if it meant her happiness.

And she'd learned that he made her happy.

There was a lot to learn, for both of them, but wasn't that the point of a relationship to begin with? Wasn't the whole 'relationship before marriage' thing the whole point? So what if she didn't know everything about him. She knew most things. And she knew, even if her mind didn't want to believe it, that if she said yes – when she said yes – he wouldn't stray. He'd be hers, and she'd be his and there would be no conditions or caveats. That would be the way things were.

So she broke away, breathing heavily, but catching his face in her hands. She needed to look at him for this, needed him to see that she was putting her heart in his hands, and trusting him with _everything_.

"I want to date you," she said, her eyes locked on his. "I want you to take me out to dinner, I want to stay in and cuddle on your couch. I want to know that you're going to be there when I fall and still be there when I can stand tall. I want you there after a bad day, I want you there after a good day. I. Want. You."

"Is that a clever and very heartfelt way of telling me I won the wager?"

She would have hit him, but the emotion in his eyes, the almost glistening nature of those piercing blues was enough to quell the urge. Instead, she kissed him again, long and slow and deep.

And Kate felt something settle. The uncertainty wasn't gone, but it lessened. This was what she wanted. This man, this relationship, this life. Rick had waited a long time for her to be ready, and though she didn't like thinking of their relationship as an inevitability, she liked to believe that this wasn't a terrible path to choose.

"We're going to miss the ball dropping," he said into her mouth when they pulled apart to catch their breath.

Kate's hands fisted in his lapels. "I don't care. I'm right where I want to be."

The world fell away, leaving Kate and Rick and an entire road ahead. A new year, a new slate, and as the clock counted down to midnight, Kate pulled him in. She was _exactly_ where she wanted to be, in his mind, in his life, and in his heart.

As the clock struck twelve and the crowd erupted, Kate wrapped her arms tighter around Rick's neck.

2011 was going to be a good year. She could feel it. Her, Rick, _Them_… It really was good. It really could work.

And he'd proved it.

* * *

_Admittedly, and 3700 words (ish) later, there are parts of this chapter I'm not happy with, issues I glossed over instead of addressing, but overall, I have to admit, I'm extremely happy with the way this story came out. _

_Now, I've had a lot of requests for a sequel. Unlike the first 25 chapters, requests do not necessarily get you the candy. I'm at a point here where there is a lot I can play with and I like the idea of being able to come back to this world and add to it whenever I want. So 'sequel' is probably not the right word. I won't be starting anything new for this, but I may add little pieces from time to time that are based off of this. And really, Christmas 2011 is only, like, 11 months away. Maybe the 2011 Christmas story will build off of this one. _

_But there won't be a sequel in the true sense of the word. Just little forays MAYBE every once in a while. _

_There is one last important and rather stereotypical thing that I need to do. But it's extremely important to me. I owe you guys the biggest thanks. I know I say it all the time and I know that everyone says it often, but there aren't words to describe what it feels like to be me right now, playing around in this little universe. Sometimes, with fanfiction, I'm not always completely proud of the result. I know, without fail that I can say I'm proud of what I've done here. And a lot of that is a big thanks to you guys. Reviewers are the most supportive people in the world. I've met some awesome individuals because of reviews and replies and stories and though I don't get back to you as much as I know I should, know that I keep track. I know who reviews more than once and I know who reviews every chapter. I know who leaves mile long reviews, I know who is likely to make me cry... All of those things make writing so worth it. You guys love it, and sometimes, if I'm extremely lucky, there's someone out there who needs this. There's someone out there going through the same thing, or just needs the pick me up. _

_To all you writers out there, lets never give up. We never know when we're going to affect or change a life. _

_To all you readers and reviewers out there, never stop. You keep us, specifically me, writing an coming back to this, regardless of the idea, regardless of the work and self-imposed stress. _

_Thank you for reading. Thank you for making Three Sizes my most reviewed story EVER. _

_Thanks for being awesome._

_KL_


End file.
